When we review landing pages, it’s common for us to come across letter copy that’s competent but average, and there are many things in the copy that our copywriters would change.
For example, on www.26-Feng-Shui-Secrets.com, a landing page dedicated to selling a Feng Shui book, there is no bio of the book’s author. So we don’t know his credentials or qualifications as a Feng Shui expert, except for some mention of learning Feng Shui from his grandmother. If that’s his only credential, more should be made of that story; maybe grandma should be positioned as the Feng Shui master.
[text_ad]
Second, a lot of the language seems off base. For instance, the subhead on the first screen says “You will be amazed at how simple Feng Shui can actually be!”
The average reader probably never thought Feng Shui to be complicated; isn’t it just moving furniture? So the fact that it can be made simple is anything but amazing.
Now, if Feng Shui could make the reader more money or improve his health, then perhaps the prospect would be truly amazed. But the copy doesn’t prove it can do those things.
Another subhead reads: “Have you ever asked yourself, ‘Why can’t there be a simple, easy to understand guide to Feng Shui?” This likely isn’t what the reader is asking himself. What the reader has asked himself—and would have a stronger reaction to in a subhead—is “Why can’t I get rich?” and “How can I stay healthy?”
The bottom line: always establish the author’s credibility and remember to hit all of your reader’s hot buttons—in this case, it should’ve been the desire to be rich and healthy.
